The holiday season is a time of joy, celebration and family gatherings – but for families with a loved one living with dementia, it can also bring added stress and difficult decisions.
Whether your loved one is cared for at home or in a care centre, the festive period often raises questions about routines, visits and how best to balance celebration with comfort and safety.
Planning celebrations around routines
Many families face the dilemma of whether to bring a person living with dementia (PLWD) home for the holidays. While family connection and inclusion in celebrations are important, experts caution that disrupting familiar routines can be distressing. Debbie Beech, a trained social worker and former regional manager of Alzheimer’s South Africa who now works at Edenvale-based NPO Rand Aid Association, says: “Routine becomes important to a person living with dementia, and taking them out of their familiar environment can cause anxiety or trigger changes in behaviour. It’s important to consult with care centre staff and plan carefully if bringing them home.”
Practical steps include orientating the PLWD on arrival, clearly marking bathrooms, leaving lights on at night and monitoring for sudden behavioural changes, which may also indicate medical issues such as infections.
For families caring for someone at home, respite care can provide essential relief. “Short breaks allow primary caregivers to recharge, improving mental health and reducing the risk of burnout,” says Debbie. Explaining to the PLWD that they are ‘going on a holiday’ during respite care can ease transitions and reduce anxiety.
Creating meaningful holiday moments
Debbie suggests planning smaller, calmer celebrations and focusing on meaningful and familiar activities. “Baking, decorating, listening to favourite music, short walks and reminiscing can evoke happy memories and positive emotions,” she explains. Intergenerational interactions, particularly with grandchildren, can be joyful, but energy levels should not overwhelm the PLWD.
Families should watch for signs of stress or agitation – such as pacing, repeated questioning or requests to go home – and provide a quiet, comforting space if needed. Maintaining familiar routines, planning and managing expectations of family and guests can also help reduce stress.
Care for caregivers and support
Debbie emphasises that caregivers must prioritise their own well-being. “Sleep, nutrition and mental health matter. Delegate tasks, let go of perfectionist expectations and focus on the time spent together rather than having a picture-perfect celebration.”
Support is also available through groups such as the one facilitated by registered counsellor Lorna Quinn, which has been running for around 14 years. Meetings for caregivers and family members of people living with dementia are held on the second Saturday of each month at the Elphin Lodge retirement village clubhouse in Edenvale from 09:30 to 10:30. For more information, contact Quinn at 082 456 5692.
Debbie concludes: “The holidays are about making memories together. Flexibility, compassion and spending quality time matter far more than perfection. With planning and support, families can create meaningful and joyful celebrations for everyone involved.”
