When Joan England’s husband, Ken, passed away, her children living overseas worried about her being alone. They wanted her to have both companionship and support, someone who could provide practical help as well as emotional presence.
Through the office of Thornhill Manor, the retirement village where she lives, Joan (90) was introduced to Margaret Magodi (52), who stepped into her life in December 2022. What began as an arrangement of care quickly grew into a deep, enduring friendship.
Each day unfolds with simple routines, tea in the morning, breakfast together, and discussions about the day’s plans. Sometimes the pair goes shopping, other times they enjoy window shopping at the local mall. Mondays are a highlight, reserved for OT games and shared laughter. Walking is another cherished ritual, with Joan and Margaret deciding each day whether to turn left or right, letting the rhythm of their steps and conversation guide them, sometimes even three times a day.
Food also anchors their companionship. Margaret prepares pap, while Joan prefers her cereal, but their real joy comes from cooking together, especially their homemade soups and baked goods. Joan, who once considered giving up baking at age 90, rediscovered its value after finding store-bought treats too sweet and unhealthy. Returning to her favourites like rock buns became both a comfort and a way to stay busy.
Their relationship extends far beyond the practicalities of daily living. Margaret describes Joan as ‘like a mother’, someone easy to talk to, with whom she can share stories and emotions. They reminisce, laugh, sometimes shed tears, and even break into spontaneous song. Music, television and storytelling fill their days, turning ordinary moments into shared joys.
Margaret’s role as a carer is deeply meaningful to her. “When you appear to an elderly person with a smile, it means a lot,” she explains. “It makes them comfortable and willing to ask for help.” For her, caring is not a job but a vocation. She is attentive not only to Joan but also to other residents in the village, often stepping in to assist others.
For Joan, Margaret’s presence was life-changing. “I don’t think I could manage without her,” she admits. Her days are fuller, healthier and more meaningful with companionship. Margaret, in turn, feels rewarded by the trust, joy and sense of purpose the relationship brings her.
Their story illustrates that caregiving in later life is not a one-sided arrangement of dependency. Instead, it is a reciprocal relationship where companionship, trust and care enrich both lives. Joan gains security and social connection, while Margaret finds fulfilment and belonging.
“In a world where older adults often face loneliness and challenges like Alzheimer’s and other diseases, the relationship between Joan and Margaret demonstrates the profound impact of compassionate caregiving. Their partnership is not defined merely by tasks completed, but by the human connection that sustains them both. It is a testament to how care, when grounded in respect and companionship, can transform ageing into a chapter of shared joy and resilience,” says Thornhill Manor social worker Karen Griessel.
